Why Green Lantern and FF 2 Silver Surfer Sucked

My younger brother was talking about the Big Bang Theory, and how one guy (Sheldon Cooper?) said that “If I can make it through the Green Lantern movie, I can make it through this.” I said that the biggest reason the movie gets worse on every subsequent viewing is that (drum roll, please) …

CLOUDS MAKE TERRIBLE SUPERVILLAINS! I gave a few reasons why, the main one being that clouds can’t emote. Galactus (the Fantastic Four 2 movie) was a big cloud. I would yawn as the world was consumed: “Seriously? The world ends from hungry fog? You don’t even look hungry, or mad, or happy, or sad, you have no face, YOU’RE A FRIGGING CLOUD! Why don’t you just BORE the world to death?” Gimme a fifty foot indifferent guy any day. He has a face. Faces can show emotions on them. That is why they are faces.

The Green Lantern movie cloud monster grew a face so it could scowl at Hal Jordan. A face pasted onto a cloud looks fake. Why? Because it IS fake! I am reminded of a line from a Monty Python sketch: “That isn’t a cat license, it’s a dog license with the word ‘dog’ crossed out and the word ‘cat’ written on in crayon!” (I still think Hector Hammond was wonderful, if anyone could pull off cloud villain, he could have. But he did not last.)

My brother said I was getting kind of Sheldon. In this case, I proudly stand with Sheldon! (Sheldon is wrong, wrong, wrong about Babylon 5.)

P.S. I will have to check out fellow blogger ThyCriticMan.com to see what he has to say. Check his blog for some fun reviews.

P.P.S. I did not find Green Lantern and FF 2 on Thy Critic Man’s site. At this date, he is better off reviewing other stuff. Maybe I ought to do it, I am a comic book geek.

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2 thoughts on “Why Green Lantern and FF 2 Silver Surfer Sucked

  1. Right on the money. Superhero movies depend on the villain to be entertaining. If the villain sucks, the movie sucks. The Dark Knight Rises is a good movie…don’t get me wrong. Yet my memory of it is haunted by how a twist ruined Bane. This same twist had him removed from the plot in a way that still disappoints me.

    Anyways…yes…cloud monsters are terrible!

  2. Pingback: Squirrel Girl Totally RULEZ! | Dave M. Strom: author of Holly Hansson, superheroine & writer

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