To Batman v Superman: Hire a writer!

batman grimly faces supermanWhy was Ben Affleck’s Batman forced to say this stupid line about Superman?

He has the power to wipe out the entire human race and if we believe there is even a one percent chance that he is our enemy, we have to take it as an absolute certainty.

Batman can do math. On the Justice League, he is called, “The Smart One.” He is a detective. He would detect who is guilty, who is innocent, and who does and does not need a Bat-punch in the mush. Read The Dark Knight Returns, there are better ways to give me a Bats-vs-Supes smackdown (and a serious fanboy orgasm!) than that one-percenter line. It is lazy writing, and it sucks. Even an NPR critic did a double-take at that.

That line reminds me of an old joke from Steve Landesberg (Dietrich from Barney Miller). Steve was doing the character of a Deep South sheriff. His accent was perfect. (The quote below is from my memory, so is not likely exact. Except for the punchline.)

“Yep, ah’ve been at this job a long time, I can tell just by lookin’ at someone if they’re gonna do a crime. Just yesterday, I saw a guy, and just by lookin’ at him, I know he wuz gonna kill someone.”

(Perfectly timed comedic pause.)

“So I shot him.” (Audience laughter.) “He ain’t gonna kill nobody now!”

Batman is smarter than that sheriff. DC Comics, when you make your next movie, please hire a writer.

Scripting Change and my first Kindle publish!

HOLLY COVER Reviz 3I finally pushed my first short story to Kindle. Two Stories in One: Super Bad Hair Day, and The Poet and the Supersplainer! Two stories for a dollar, such a deal! Take a look, buy, read, and write a good review. (I’d rather be compared to Stan Lee than Hemingway.)

And Scripting Change 2016 has the story “The Terror of the Twisted Tonguester!” Former supervillain the Karate Queen defends her girlfriend from superheroine Holly Hansson, who has fallen under the spell of the vile Byle Boole (boo, hiss!).

I am now more than an aspiring writer. I am a published author, both self-pubbed and pubbed by local clubs. Bask in my glory.

 

I’ll be on Superheroine panel at Silicon Valley Comic Con

SVCC-2016-Sponsorship-and-exhibit-pakcages-page-001-600x464At the Silicon Valley Comic Con, Friday March 18 at 6 P.M., I will be on the Superheroines! panel with Valerie Frankel and others. Valerie asked me because she knows me, and I read superheroine comic books, and I am writing Super Holly Hansson. From the website:

Agent Carter, Black Canary, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, and Daisy Johnson are taking over film and TV, with more heroines coming. In comics, Marvel’s Squirrel Girl, Lady Thor, Spider-Gwen, and Ms. Marvel have revolutionized superhero storytelling. Why are these new stories so compelling (or not)? What’s the best of the best and what should we be reading and watching?

My first panel! Yay! If you go, please see me there. I will be there Saturday and likely Sunday.

Remember Valerie? Her Wonder Woman book I beta-read? She is smart and she is a writing machine and I really appreciate her asking me to be on this panel. If you are close by, come see us.

P.S. I will not be wearing spandex.

My Cinequest 2016 Likes

cinequest2016-mindbendersI have been slow rating what I have seen at Cinequest 2016. Here is what I have really liked so far.

How To Plan An Orgy In A Small Town. I grew up in a small town. This town looked better than mine. There is a real affection for the small town characters. And I got to see some of them do an ORGY!!! I rated it highly, it’s a feel good movie, and what makes you feel better than an orgy?

The Brainwashing of My Dad. Young woman’s dad goes right-wing dittohead after listening to Fox Snooze and Rush. She studied the right-wing media machine: over 90% of radio talk shows being right-wing is spooky. So is so many old white males swallowing any lies spewed at them, what is WRONG with you guys? I am 60 but my brain has filters, GO GET SOME! Happy ending: the dad went back to normal after his wife took away his Fox.

Mindbenders shorts. Short films to stretch the mind. I took a selfie (bad focus, darn it) with two guys who did shorts, both named Monster. The one on the left did a spoof of Godzilla, the middle guy’s flick was about a boy whom monsters under the bed would be wise to avoid. (He recognized me from a comic book shop, fanboys are great.) My fave was How Deep Can I Go: best twisted musical number I have seen in years.

Love Is All You Need? Simple idea: show a world where homosexual is the norm and heterosexual is gay. Turns the tables, and (excuse the pun) it is played straight. (I admit if I wrote this, I’d go for laughs.) I talked to Kim Shields (director) briefly: the inspiration for this was bullying. It hit the heart: it got tears from the audience, and I wanted to jump onto the screen with a baseball bat and give the bigots a wood shampoo.

Chuck Norris Vs. Communism. How can I NOT see that? About how videotapes of American TV and movies translated for Romania helped overthrow the rotten dictator. YAY!

Buddy Solitaire. A story of a flawed comedian, and it had an impact on me. I will rewrite my novel to put a BIGGER flaw into Super Holly Hansson: her helping to bring superpower to the fanboys should have a sneakier and selfish ulterior motive, and it should get her in TROUBLE with the fanboys later on.

Transfixed. A little transsexual slice of life. I was rooting for her.

I missed the Sally Field movie (Hello, My Name Is Doris) about the older woman pursuing the younger man. Darn it.

Story Music for My Open Mics

EmerianRichEmerian Rich, writer of horror and romance and otherwise nice lady, just posted an article I wrote for her. She is doing a series of blog posts about how music has influenced writers. With me, it was how I use music when I read at open mics. It all started with Underdog…

https://emzbox.wordpress.com/2016/03/02/music-inspiring-writing-david-strom/

At little open mics, I never worried about rights, I was too tiny for big companies to notice. But now that I am going to do audio recordings of my stories and post and/or sell them, I need to find music that I can use without having to get the rights from the EVIL GIANT MUSIC CONGLOMERATES. Yeah, right, they’d let me use music from The Matrix. Thus begins my royalty free (or royalty cheap) search. I found the William Tell Overture for my Puppy Boys story.