A header change, and an open mic

Holly belongs in my header pic, so now she is there. That change was a long time coming. I bumped Dev-Em to my about page.

I did an open mic last night, my short story in this year’s Scripting Change. I did not use any music, I should not rely on what I do not own. Instead, I got more animated when I did my reading. More grand gestures, such as an uppercut fist and holding up a comic book (actually my iPad) to fend off the evil teacher. More character voice: getting more screechy Wicked-Witch-of-the-West evil with the Word Witch’s voice. And more sound effects: a kiss, a little lip smacking. I should try that again, it seemed to go over well. The younger people liked my performance. I handed them some Holly cards.

Maybe it’s time to practice my performances in front of a mirror. Worked for Jim Carrey.

P.S. It might help if I could attach my iPad to my hand, giving me more freedom of movement. I have a couple ways to do that buried at my place from old MacWorld Expos, hope they are secure. Tossing my iPad across the coffee shop might make me say words not suitable for a younger audience.

Why Green Lantern and FF 2 Silver Surfer Sucked

My younger brother was talking about the Big Bang Theory, and how one guy (Sheldon Cooper?) said that “If I can make it through the Green Lantern movie, I can make it through this.” I said that the biggest reason the movie gets worse on every subsequent viewing is that (drum roll, please) …

CLOUDS MAKE TERRIBLE SUPERVILLAINS! I gave a few reasons why, the main one being that clouds can’t emote. Galactus (the Fantastic Four 2 movie) was a big cloud. I would yawn as the world was consumed: “Seriously? The world ends from hungry fog? You don’t even look hungry, or mad, or happy, or sad, you have no face, YOU’RE A FRIGGING CLOUD! Why don’t you just BORE the world to death?” Gimme a fifty foot indifferent guy any day. He has a face. Faces can show emotions on them. That is why they are faces.

The Green Lantern movie cloud monster grew a face so it could scowl at Hal Jordan. A face pasted onto a cloud looks fake. Why? Because it IS fake! I am reminded of a line from a Monty Python sketch: “That isn’t a cat license, it’s a dog license with the word ‘dog’ crossed out and the word ‘cat’ written on in crayon!” (I still think Hector Hammond was wonderful, if anyone could pull off cloud villain, he could have. But he did not last.)

My brother said I was getting kind of Sheldon. In this case, I proudly stand with Sheldon! (Sheldon is wrong, wrong, wrong about Babylon 5.)

P.S. I will have to check out fellow blogger ThyCriticMan.com to see what he has to say. Check his blog for some fun reviews.

P.P.S. I did not find Green Lantern and FF 2 on Thy Critic Man’s site. At this date, he is better off reviewing other stuff. Maybe I ought to do it, I am a comic book geek.

Samples are puny, how about WHOLE stories?

I only have little samples of my short stories on this website. I am thinking of putting entire stories, and maybe I could get some feedback. I have followers. Maybe some fellow bloggers/writers would like to read and comment on my stories. (And maybe I could seek out theirs?)

I could keep them on my site until I deem them ready to publish on Kindle and Smashwords. Frankly, the barber story is WAY overdue for publishing!

Andy Weir (The Martian) did this. It worked for him. So expect some whole stories soon to replace the samples I have now.

In the meantime, have a great Christmas (or whatever your equivalent is).

Why I will never write a memoir book

I go to several writer clubs, where a lot of older people are writing their memoirs. Nothing wrong with that, especially if they led an interesting life.

But me? I work, I write, I survive. Not a memorable life, just an ordinary one. However, I write an annual Christmas letter about the interesting points, such as an artist breathlessly telling me, “I draw boobs, I love to draw BOOBS,” or nearly breaking my foot tripping over my cousin’s sunken living room during house-sitting and at 2 A.M. Tucker the dog decides he has to pee and I limpingly and growlingly drag him down the stairs, or me bopping Wrigley the dog’s head with the remote control he chewed up to stop me from turning on the TV, or a lady writer helping me write a story by demoing her karate and saying, “Dave, stand still, I’m gonna kick up at your head,” or going to a San Francisco church service and a homeless-type guy wants to hold my hand during prayer and I wonder if that is the same hand he uses for personal hygiene.

Harvey Pekar said there is poetry in ordinary life. I guess that once a year, this is mine. I have been writing these itty-bitty memoirs for decades. Gotta hurry with the latest one, I want to mail my Christmas cards soon, and I want to get back to writing my stories. Super Holly Hansson is pounding on my frontal lobes. She is not the patient type.

Sorry about the double Pomeroy, Facebook!

If you like good writers and narcissist anti-heroes, try James Hanna’s Pomerory. A small warning: Pomerory uses the F-bomb with aplomb. And Holly would not get along with him (he’d likely hit on her). From James Hanna’s email: “This is the tale you last heard at Open Mic (where Pomeroy goes to the United Kingdom, urinates on the Blarney Castle, and pisses off the New World Order).” Pomerory is a hoot! Try him out!

http://emptysinkpublishing.com/fiction/pomeroy-new-world-order/

Supersplaining: a rewrite that is going well.

Remember that story that Fault Zone rejected back in June 2014? I rewrote it to have a better hook at the start. Holly and Cal are arguing right at the start of the story.

You have heard of mansplaining? This will be supersplaining: Cal telling Holly how she should fight her supervillainess opponent. It really gets on Holly’s nerves, and Holly has a short fuse to start with. I also used the word womansplaining to improve the final line. Beginnings and endings count for a lot.

A nice editor at Zymbol will be editing some of my writing (a perk from Zymbol’s fundraising a while ago). This will be part of the package I send to her this story. For a peek, click here.

P.S. I admit I am curious the take Zymbol will have compared to Fault Zone (whose comments I felt were mostly off base).

P.P.S. Tina, this story is for you. But you knew that already. Thank you, Karate Queen.